Ten Things I Hate About Porn: Lack of Condoms

I am not currently on the pill. This is quite a rare occurrence: I’ve been on it almost continuously since I was 16. Two months ago, however, I decided to take a break in the hope that my acne would disappear. I was wrong; but I definitely feel better now I am not bombarding my body with hormones on a day to day basis. I feel more energetic and I have less of an urge to stuff myself with chocolate. 

I’ve felt so fantastic since stopping the pill that I am considering making it a permanent fixture. The only problem is that I’m going on a date tomorrow (with S – a guy I was sexting about a year ago but we only met for the first time this month) and I can guarantee I will want sex. And I don’t want to use a condom.

Why not? For me, it feels more or less the same. Bit of extra lube, which is good. Plus I don’t have to deal with the disgusting sensation of cum dribbling out of my vagina at some point between 2 minutes and 6 hours post-sex. I believe it feels a bit better for the guy without one, so I guess it’s to do with that. And laziness. Regardless of any of this, the outcome is the same: I hate using condoms, and almost never do so.

I’ve discussed this issue before, in relation to the transmission STIs. This irresponsible and lackadaisical attitude to condoms is totally unacceptable and down right dangerous. And it’s not just me: as I have discussed previously, I believe this is normal behaviour for heterosexual couples, even in causal sex.

For me, of course, the answer is obvious. If things go well on my date tomorrow and I end up shagging S, then I will use a condom. Simple. But what about those many occasions in the past where I have not bothered? And the millions of others out there who are happily shagging condom-free, simply due to laziness and habit?

Porn, I believe, has the answer.

Straight porn rarely features a condom. No big deal? I think it is. It normalizes the idea that having casual sex or group sex is fine without protection. In gay porn, condom use is far more widespread, and we see a corresponding increase in the percentage of gay people who use condoms regularly. Humans are simple creatures; we copy what we see. If we see porn stars shagging bareback, then we do too.

Only last week, Charlie Sheen disclosed his HIV positive diagnosis. I think this was a brave decision, and the right decision. It raises awareness of the disease and hopefully will reduce some of the stigma attached to it. But I also hope it will make people think more carefully about using a condom. I certainly will.

Ten Things I Hate About Porn: French Manicures

For some, a French manicure is the ultimate in nail design: classy, elegant, chic and sophisticated.

When I see a French manicure, however, I am instantly reminded of porn. I suppose this is why I’m not a fan: they look tacky to me. The Dutchess of Cambridge could have one, and I’d still think it looks naff.

Let us forget aesthetics for a moment, though, and consider a few practicalities:

1. Nails are sharp.
2. Nails break easily, and if you get those stick-on gel ones, they are notorious for falling off.

Ah, yes. Something sharp that may peel off at any moment. That’s exactly what I want to use to rub my clitoris and to slip inside my vagina and/or anus.

Oh wait.

No. No it is not. I cringe when I see women with French manicures playing with themselves or each other in porn. It makes me want to curl up in a ball and weep. My vagina literally contracts with horror.

Why the fuck would I want to put something sharp ON MY CLITORIS? Are you a total fucking lunatic? And why would anyone want to risk the (admittedly hilarious) possibility of a gel nail falling off inside one of their orifices? Besides, they don’t even look nice! Please, stop.

French manis can fuck off.

Ten Things I Hate About Porn: Women Who Look Like Girls

As with all aspects of the media, there are loads of issues regarding the impact porn has on women’s (and men’s) body image. When we think of porn stars, we think of curves: stereotypically, the women are cartoon-like in appearance, with huge tits, a big booty and a slim waist in between the two. Long hair, lots of make up, a shaved pussy and small labia are also ubiquitous to the ‘porn star’ look.

Despite being problematic in many ways, the issue of presenting an unrealistic body image is not my primary concern with porn. You don’t have to browse for long to discover that there are masses of videos starring women who are pretty ‘normal’ in appearance (perhaps due to the popularity of amateur films) and there are loads of mainstream categories which feature women who don’t fit the curvaceous stereotype. What concerns me more is the popularity of porn depicting women who, frankly, don’t look like women at all. They look like children.

To be clear: I’m not discussing child porn. I think we can all be in agreement that child porn is terrible. I am talking about porn where the actresses are over 18, but they look younger. The kind of stuff you find in categories like ‘teen’, ‘babe’, ‘young’ and ‘petite’.

Why is that so bad? Some might argue that these videos are representing a very real group of young women – women who are petite, slim and have small breasts – and that it has nothing to do with the fact that the women look like they are younger than 18. But I disagree. I spent less than a minute scrolling through today’s ‘featured videos’ on PornHub, and found films entitled ‘I need you daddy’ and ‘Schoolgirl gets her panties filled with cum’. Nothing to do with the fact the actresses look young, you say? Bollocks. And this kind of video is anything but niche: according to PornMD, ‘teen’ is the second most searched for term globally.

Is it wrong to watch women who look very young having sex with men who look decades older? Perhaps not: the actresses are 18, after all, and I don’t want to judge or stigmatize people for their preferences when it comes to porn. But personally, the ‘young and old’ theme makes me feel uncomfortable and I question why it has gained such widespread popularity, and whether this is having an impact on our real-life sexual activity.

10 Things I Hate About Porn

I was 19 when I lost my pornography virginity. I don’t know what took me so long: my real-life cherry had been popped 4 years previously, and I had been masturbating regularly (sans-porn) for considerably longer. Compelled to catch up from my late start, I spent my years at university watching porn as often as I could reasonably manage (which was a lot – I did an arts degree…)

If I’m honest, though, my first encounter with porn was rather like my first encounter with a cock: I felt nervous, guilty and scared. I didn’t know which websites were good, so I just typed ‘porn’ into Google and clicked on the top result: PornHub. I remember feeling sickened by the fat, middle-aged men who starred in the videos, and horrified by how violent everything seemed. I finally settled on watching a clip of an overly made-up woman masturbating with a dildo.

Like with sex, things improved once the first time was over.

Nowadays, I have a fairly healthy relationship with porn . Unlike when I first started watching it (when I would rarely masturbate without it) I now watch it far less frequently.That said, I don’t think I could ever give it up completely: I tried to quit for lent last year, but three days in I was browsing pictures of hot guys on Tumblr and one thing led to another and … yeah.

But despite the fact that I enjoy my adventures on the ‘other internet’, there are still lots of things I hate about porn. Some are trivial, some are troubling, and others are frankly terrifying. Over the next few days I will sharing my thoughts through a series of posts entitled: Ten Things I Hate About Porn. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

 

Thoughts which make me come

For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed inventing stories in my head, and since I hit puberty, the vast majority of these fantasies have involved sex (I’m sure my high school English teachers would be delighted that I have been putting my creative talents to such good use). It is rare for a day go by without a dirty daydream crossing my mind. I think this might be one reason why I enjoy sexting so much: it’s creative collaboration.

Yet despite my vivid imagination and the large bank of filthy fantasies I have catalogued in my mind over the years, when it comes to making me come (pun intended), I always imagine the same old thing: anal.

Anal.

Nine times out of ten, when I make myself come, it is the thought of a big, throbbing cock being forced deep into my ass which pushes me over the edge.

Why? I’m not sure. Initially I think it was to do with anal having something of a ‘taboo’ status – to me at least – which made it seem extra kinky. Then, for a while, I kept on trying it while drunk (a lack of lube and a lack of patience led to a low success rate here), which only made me want to try it more. Now I wonder if it’s just a habit: I lie in bed, begin to construct an elaborate fantasy in my mind, and when I reach the point when I know I’m close, the man (or one of the men…) in my fantasy flips me onto my front and tells me that he is going to fuck my ass. I feel him press his dick against my asshole. Harder. I let out a moan as he begins to penetrate me. He feels intrusively large as he pushes deeper inside me … and I come.

A whole world of possibilities. A whole internet full of porn. And yet that is what does it for me more than anything else. I’m not even sure I’d like it if it happened in real life. But in my mind, it makes me come. Every. Single. Time.

 

 

 

Comeback

My latest plea to win the award for ‘worst sex blogger in the world’: I finally had some great sex, didn’t bother to write about it, and promptly took a 3 week hiatus from blogging.

I’m sorry.

It’s time for me to make my comeback now, though. Finally, it’s half term.

Holidays are great. As discussed previously, they usually involve drinking, doing outdoors things, seeing friends, and masturbating. All my favourite things.

Plus, I will have time to blog again! I can’t want to tell you all about the incredible sex I had with BP, and the tricky situation with S, and the hilarious chat I had with T.

But all of that will have to wait until tomorrow. Today, I worked for 13 hours and I am shattered. My eyelids are drooping and I can barely form sentences.

Good night.

(I might just about manage to type the words ‘PornHub threesome’ into Google, though. Sorry not sorry.)

The ‘Other’ Internet

It’s 11pm. It’s been another long day: my alarm went off at 6, I was at work by 7.30. I taught a full day of lessons (teenagers really take it out of you, you know; they’re so bloody angsty) and then finished off my day with a meeting. At home I had books to mark, lessons to plan and reports to write.

I crawl into bed, shattered. It’s long past time for me to switch the lights off and drift into a heavy sleep, plagued with dreams of spreadsheets, PowerPoint presentations and children bleating the word ‘Miss’ over and over and over again as if their life depended on it.

Eyes drooping, I switch off the lights and reach out to shut my laptop. My hand is halfway to the screen when I pause. Frozen in mid-air, it gives a slight twitch and then retreats. My fingers on autopilot, I deftly key in ctrl + shift + N.

Welcome, my friends, to the other internet.

As Captain Barbossa would say, ‘Here there be monsters’.

Oh, and porn.

It’s 12.30. I really am going to sleep now.